Curiosity

Curiosity. That was what I felt the first time I saw that door; at least the first time I remember. An old and dark door very different from the others around the house. I always wanted to know what was behind it, but Grandma' said it was forbidden.
Now I'm older, but I still have the same desire to know what's there. Grandma' wasn't at home that moment, so I decided to go in. That door even hadn't any key; just Grandma' authority kept it closed.
I'm inside the room, there's no any light but the sun trying to show up itself through the space between that wood covering the window. It was smelly. Then , I touched something big in the middle of the room; I tried to see with the light of my mobile phone. I wish I didn't do that. There, inside of a kind of coffin was my mother's body, the one I thought I left in the cemetary when I was a child. I hear steps getting closer. Curiosity has gone, fear has arrived...
At least I know what Grandma' will do with that knife.

From a night I don't remember....

I wanted to scream all night, but I couldn't; even though I had strong walls, walls which would make my hand bleed with a fist, but I simply couldn't scream.
When was the last time I really cried? I don't remember, it must be too many time ago, because there are too many tears, I can't stop them.
Something hurts, it's not my heart, it's deeplier than that....damn! It really hurts!
Fucking body! Control yourself! Why can't you do something so simple?
Fucking doubts! It's supposed you wanted to be this since you can remember!
Fucking freak girl! Rise your head!! Are you gonna be a weak one? Do you have any other plan but this? No? Funny...isn't it? Miserable human being...This is all you have, don't waste it! And don't you dare show this fucking face to them!
Look your eyes in the mirror! What's that?? Is that you? Don't you dare stop smiling in front of them! You don't deserve being sad, that's too much for you, you're nothing for sadness, worse that nothing!
Just get up!
If you're gonna think about it just think it! Don't say it! You're not weak! You won't show your desperated face....